“Don’t try to force a life you think others will think is perfect. Live a life that is perfectly you.

About the author

“I have a passion for projects that make a positive difference

I started writing Come Undone when I was 21. A time when I was struggling to understand who I was and where I fit into this world. I finished at age 24 and my future story unfolds real time.

I hope my story helps you in your life journey, which ever direction you decide to take it. Together, we can continue to raise awareness and understand that we truly are never alone.”
Xavier James

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About J.C. Publications

A publishing house for truth telling

J.C. Publications focus on raw stories that are relevant, relatable and shine light on the truth. We believe preservation of authentic voice is critical to capture the time, so present memoirs written in the moment, not those recalled and censored over fading years.

Xavier’s Story

Told by Katia Ariel

At the heart of Come Undone is the unfurling of Xavier’s identity, his private and public realisation of his non-heterosexual self. This is explored with honesty, insight and ongoing self-reflection. As a result, there is something very generous about the narrative; the story emanates his wish to make the reader feel less alone, showing that because he is prepared to dig deep, the reader might also find their own courage.

Xavier shares with a willing heart observations of difficult things – his parents’ dissolving marriage, his father’s challenging behaviour, the homophobia that poisons the cultural soil of his childhood, the harrowing experience of sexual assault, the crushing loneliness of single life.

However, the obstacles and traumas in his life are woven with radiant examples of love and connection – the support that his friends and family show (for the most part), the steadfast guidance of Matt (Counsellor & LGBTQ+ Life Coach), the hopefulness and vulnerability with which other young men approach him with their questions. As such, Xavier ends the story on a triumphant note, and this gives the reader hope and energy to face their own battle.

There is a great deal of heart and narrative detail in the story that galvanises and consoles the reader. Xavier has focused on relating some of the knottiest points in the sexuality journey and mental health battles, and the reader will be grateful for his candour. As Xavier says, don’t force a life which you think others will think is perfect, but live a life that is perfectly you.

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Xavier’s Podcast, Panel & Article Appearances

SnapChat GenZ Panel

Hosted by SnapChat, Xavier chatted with journalists and industry about personal experiences, his book and anticipated GenZ trends. Other panel members were Gemma Chua-Tran and Sianan Scrivner.

Learn More Here
MamaMia Australia Pride Article

Xavier vulnerably shares his coming out and self acceptance journey with Mamamia Australia. This story includes descriptions of sexual assault and suicidal ideation that may be distressing to some readers.

Read Opinion Piece Here
MamaMia Living with Teens Summit

The Living with Teens Summit is an online event presented by Mamamia, bringing experts, parents and Gen Z's together to share the unfiltered truths of raising teenagers in 2023. Xavier sat on the panel to provide the unfiltered truth about raising teenagers in 2023. This summit is your shortcut to surviving the teen years.

Watch Here
Winner of BCG & Out for Australia 30 under 30 awards

Xavier is recognised by Out for Australia and Boston Consulting Group (BCG) as one of 30 outstanding individuals under the age of 30, who has made tangible contributions to the LGBTQIA+ community, has had success in their field, and exhibits the qualities of an inspirational role model.

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Mr Gay Pride Finalist

Mr. Gay Pride Australia is a search for Aussies who best represent and support their community. The competition is designed to find, build, and develop future leaders within the LGBTI community in Australia and around the world. Xavier was announced as a finalist and authored an opinion piece ‘Where do we go from here’ regarding the continuing equality journey.

Read Opinion Piece Here
Complications of Identity

Xavier speaks with psychology firm Veretis in their Psych Up podcast about the complications of identity; what is it & why do we struggle with our identity & self.
Xaiver shares his identity journey, expressing his own identity crisis, steps he took to confront his crisis & strategies that helped him through his journey.

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Individuality and Mental Health

Xavier speaks with psychology firm Veretis in their Psych Up podcast about individuality, what it means to him, the influence of social media, the barriers to expressing yourself, and strategies to express your individuality. These topics are prominent themes in his book, Come Undone, which are also unpacked.

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Mental Health First Aid Accreditation

1 in 5 Australians will experience a mental health problem in any given year. Mental Health First Aid skills based, early-intervention training programs mobilise and empower communities by equipping people with the knowledge and confidence to recognise, connect and respond to someone experiencing a mental health problem or mental health crisis.

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Early in Career Committee - Corporate Mental Health Alliance Australia

Xavier sits on the Early in Career Committee (EIC) which advises the Corporate Mental Health Alliance Australia (CMHAA) on issues that impact those in the first five years of their career. The CMHAA is an alliance of Australian businesses dedicated to providing mentally healthy workplaces for their people inc. PwC, Microsoft, Alliance, Coles, KWM & Deloitte.
EIC encourage openness and support in relation to mental health amongst those early in their career and gather informed insights that can be delivered as actionable improvements in the experience of workplace mental health across organisations.

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The courage to do hard things comes from doing hard things

This episode is all about self-acceptance and facing your fears on our path to creating a life that is true to ourselves.
In this insightful conversation, Matt and Xavier talk openly and vulnerably about how it feels to confront our inner truth. They discuss the importance of being honest with ourselves and working with our fears instead of resisting them.

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